


Leap Series 1: The Leap 1

by spookyawards_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-01-21
Updated: 2003-01-21
Packaged: 2019-04-27 05:56:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14419110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyawards_archivist/pseuds/spookyawards_archivist
Summary: Scully takes a break from the X-Files and confesses her feelings for  her partner to a friend.  Does absence make the heart grow fonder?





	Leap Series 1: The Leap 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Spooky Awards](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Spooky_Awards), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [SpookyAwards' collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/spookyawards/profile).

 

Leap Series 1: The Leap

## Leap Series 1: The Leap

### by Donnilee

TITLE: The Leap  
AUTHOR: Donnilee  

    
    
    RATING:          NC-17
    CATEGORY:        MSR ROMANCE/ANGST
    

WARNING: Lots of very descriptive sex. If you like this stuff you will call it erotica, if you don't you'll call it porn. No prudes here - and please, no one under 17. 

POSTING: ANYWHERE - But Please make sure my name and e-mail address are on it and inform me by e-mail of the location. Thank you. 

SUMMARY: Scully takes a break from the X-Files and confesses her feelings for her partner to a friend. Does absence make the heart grow fonder? 

DISCLAIMER: Ho Hum - Well, none of the characters mentioned here belong to me. If they did, M/S would have been doing the horizontal mambo a long time ago, complete with all the angst and complications. No, unfortunately, they belong to surfer boy, Chris Carter and the folks at Ten Thirteen Productions. 

* * *

* * *

**THE LEAP**

PART 1: THE LEAP:  <POSSIBILITIES>

QUANTICO, Friday Evening, 4:00 PM. 

Scully was enjoying working with Dr. Kendra McKenna. She was a brilliant pathologist from San Diego who had recently transferred to head up the department at Quantico. They had a lot in common as regarded their medical background. It was enjoyable to talk about forensics with someone who was as intrigued by it as she was. Dr. McKenna as requested another pathologist with experience be brought in temporarily to assist in a series of 18 autopsies. The people had been found dead in an abandoned barn with no obvious cause of death. Looked like a mini Jonestown. They were averaging two or three per day what with all the lab reports and paperwork. 

This was the last day of her two-week stay, which had been approved by Skinner. Dr. McKenna had heard about Mr. and Mrs. Spooky, the notorious X-File team and was curious about Dr. Dana Scully. She was pleasantly surprised that she was so down to earth and normal. Dana had made her laugh on numerous occasions over the last two weeks reciting tales of flukeman and brain eating monsters. She talked about her partner constantly. Kendra doubted if she even realized it. She talked of him in glowing terms, about his sense of humor, his dedication and his brilliant profiling ability. She never mentioned any other man, which seemed a bit odd. Her partner was picking her up tonight when the shift was over to take her to dinner. She had casually explained it away as just a dinner to catch her up on what was going on in her absence. 

All week they'd up to their elbows in flesh and blood and were having a good time of it. No disrespect to the corpses, but it was a nice break from chasing UFOs, conspirators and wading through mountains of paper work in her and Mulder's tiny basement office in the Hoover Building. This was where she shined. This was her science, where things were observed, tested, measured and weighed and the answers were formed through logical, empirical math equations and hi-technology and good old fashioned 'process of elimination. It was Friday and was nearing the end of her sojourn here and she felt calm and grounded gain and ready to go back to the world of the X-Files. The downside of this little working vacation was that she had barely seen Mulder, except in passing. She was surprised at how much she missed him and found herself talking about him to fill the void. 

The banter the arguing, the quirky smiles he flashed when he was about to drop a verbal bomb were all things she missed. He loved to fire her up and start friendly arguments that left them both aggravated but strangely invigorated. He was coming to pick her up in about an hour to take her to dinner. She was looking forward to his company. She didn't analyze to closely why she had brought the cocktail dress that she did, but she wanted to look nice for him. They rarely got the chance to relax outside of work without a case being the reason for their meeting. She'd managed to suppress the occasional flashes of unpartnerly thoughts over the last six years. This week, she realized with chagrin that she missed his invasion of her personal space, his hand on the small of her back, the gentle touch of his fingers on her arm. 

A couple of years ago she had even engaged in a few fantasies when pleasuring herself. But when the dreams had started, she redoubled her efforts to suppress her attraction and concentrated on their work to the point of exhaustion. It worked. The dreams went away, the fantasies were denied in lieu of Playgirl Magazine and a vibrator. Her wayward sexual frustration had faded. Her thoughts were back on their friendship and she had been doing good, going through the days with a detached professionalism. This week had been different. 

She chalked it up to being away from him for two weeks and in her usual razor sharp fashion had employed her protective denial. But she had that dream again last night for the third night in a row. She shivered just thinking about it. Mulder cradling her head in his hands and kissing her until she couldn't stand up. The dream always progressed to a very naked Mulder laying across her body and making love to her. She would wake up sweating and panting, felling her vaginal walls contracting in orgasm. Why had the dream come back? She shook her head. Deny everything. Good motto. 

* * *

**HALF-HOUR LATER: 4:30 PM**

Dr. McKenna peered over Dana's shoulder to look at the chest cavity Scully was digging into. She commented, "Yup, just like the others, massive striations in the heart muscle tissue and burst alveoli in the lungs. No toxicology screens yet. What do you think, Dana?" They were on a first name basis now. Dana concentrated on her scalpel incision making the last cut to remove the heart. 

"Well, I can't be sure, but I'm leaning towards some sort of gas rather than ingested poison. Something toxic that is inhaled and then absorbed into the blood stream, damaging the heart. The livers don't look good either. I'm betting the toxicology screen will show some form of liver disease as well, possibly from the tainted blood." 

"Spot on, Dr. Scully, my thoughts exactly." Dana smiled at the easy rapport that that sprung up between them. Dr. Kendra McKenna was Scully's opposite in every way, physically. She was 5' 10' tall, long, dark brown, wavy hair she wore in a pony tail down her back when out of the hair net she sported now. She was thin but not overly so and had a generous bosom and dark eyes and olive skin. She was of Lebanese descent. Her ex-husband was Irish, hence the McKenna name, which she kept. She was everything Scully was not, tall, dark and exotic. Mulder's type, she thought suddenly with an unexpected pang. So what? Why do I care? I don't, her denial assured. It was just an observation. She had just lifted the heart and spun around to put it on the scale when Mulder crashed through the swinging doors of the autopsy bay with the grace of a cat and that lop-sided smile he so rarely bestowed on her lately. 

"Hey, Scully, long time no see." She stumbled and almost dropped the heart. Kendra's quick reflexes reached out and steadied her. 

"Easy, girl," she quipped and they swung together, plopping ht heart into the scale. 

"I'm so sorry, Kendra!" 

"No harm, no foul." She leaned into Dana's ear and whispered, "That's your partner? What a fox!" 

Dana whispered back, "Funny you should say that." 

Mulder stood casually with an ear to ear grin, waiting patiently. "Sorry, Scully." He only had eyes for Dana and Kendra noticed. She was puzzled by Dana's comment. 

"Jesus Christ, Mulder, you startled me! Do you always have to make entrances like a bull?" He looked gorgeous in his fitted, light gray Raman suits. He was wearing a light blue, silk dress shirt and a thin black tie. "What, no snoopy ties tonight?" 

He flashed the grin again, obviously enjoying her upset and then her banter. His low, smooth voice sounded again. "Not tonight, I figured I'd try my best not to embarrass you tonight. Sorry, I know I'm early." 

"Too early, Mulder, it's only 4:30!" His voice dropped an octave and he adopted a teasing tone. "I missed you too, Red." She hated when he called her Red. But god, that voice. She hated when he used it on her. She knew he was only teasing, but it did weird things to her stomach. Silence. 

Kendra leaped into the breach. "Dana, I can finish up here if you want to go early." 

"Uh, you sure?" 

"Yes, go." She turned to Mulder. "By the way, I'm Kendra McKenna. Dana's told me a lot about you." She extended her no ungloved hand and Mulder grasped it firmly. 

"Fox Mulder, nice to meet you." Kendra barked once, something between a laugh and a cough. Then she began coughing a little too loudly and holding her hand to her chest, her face toward the floor. "Dr. McKenna, are you all right?" he asked, immediately concerned. Then turned with a puzzled frown as Dana burst into a fit of giggles. "Scully?" 

He rarely heard her laugh, let alone giggle and although her reaction was peculiar, it brought an answering smile to his face. God, she's spectacular. Standing there in green scrubs, bloody gloves, a hair net and safety goggles, her head thrown back as peals of her laughter bounced off the walls. She was gorgeous. He glanced back at Dr. McKenna to see her composed and smiling ruefully at Dana. 

"Scully, what the hell?" he asked, still smiling. She inhaled a large breath and tried to suppress her laughter. "Sorry, private joke, Mulder." 

"Oh." 

"Well, get out here, Dana." 

"No, I'll help you take down these weights. Another 15 minutes Mulder and I'll meet you in the cafeteria, O.K.?" 

"Sure." He forgot about Kendra instantly. Kendra watched as he strolled up to her, towering over her petite 5'2" frame and bending down to her ear. "Don't keep me waiting too long, Scully, you know how cranky I get when you're late for a date," he quipped. 

"Don't be an ass, Mulder, get out of here. You're early, a first for you, I might add, so suck it up and wait." 

He beamed at her. "Ooo, I love it when you talk tough, especially wearing that sexy outfit. I think the bloody gloves are the best." 

"Mulder." He voice held a warning. 

"See you in a few, Scully. Nice outfit by the way, are you wearing those to dinner?" he asked, waving a hand at her scrubs. I made reservations at 'Bon Apetit', but we can just hit Mo's Diner if you'd rather." 

"Mulder, OUT!" 

"O.K., O.K., nice to meet you Dr. McKenna," he said as an afterthought and strolled out the door in a flurry of swinging doors and English Leather cologne. Scully turned shaking her head. Kendra grinned. "I owe you big time for the name thing. That was cruel." 

"I didn't have a chance to tell you." 

"And Agent Scully, I didn't realize." 

"Realize what?" 

"That your partner was also your partner." 

"On, no, Kendra, we're just good friends and he's an impossible flirt. He doesn't mean anything by it. He just makes it his life's work to rattle my cage. He has a very weird sense of humor. I mean, he seems to delight in tormenting me until I crack. A bit sadistic actually. He isn't happy until I yell at him. After six years of this, I'm on to him now and just give him what he wants - my exasperation. I mean, that way, he will end the torment." Why was she babbling? God, he looked good in that suit. She looked up from reading the scale to see Kendra staring at her oddly. 

"What?" 

"Me thinks though dost protest too much, Dana. Didn't look that way to me." 

"You misunderstand. A lot of people do. They don't understand our relationship. Hell, I don't even know if I understand it half the time. We work good together though, balance each other out. It really is just friendship though." 

"Can you possibly be that blind?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean, he barely could tear his eyes off you to introduce himself to me." 

"You're imagining things." 

"Um, no, I'm not. I'm a good judge of these things and that man has the hots for you." 

"That's ridiculous. No, he doesn't." Scully sighed loudly. "Look, we're close, we lead a strange life. We can rarely trust anyone but each other. Yes, we have a tight bond born of stress, support and friendship and mostly on trust. But it's NOT a romantic thing." 

"You banter like an old married couple." 

"So I've heard. I wouldn't know. I've never been married." 

"Him?" 

"No, neither of us." 

"Does he date?" Dana's eyes flew to Kendra's. Was she interested in Mulder? She was his type. Most women were. Why did that bother here? It didn't, it just...felt wrong. Stop it Dana! 

"Well?" Kendra had caught the flash of jealousy in Dana's eyes at the mere mention of Mulder dating. 

"Uh, not that I know of right now. He's dated two or three women over the years, a couple of dates each. For some reason, he scares them off. I'm not sure why." She scrunched her brow. "Now that you mention it, he hasn't gone out with anyone that I know of in about three years now." 

"Because he's besotted with you," she stated quietly. 

"No, Kendra. I'm sorry. You're wrong. Just drop it O.K.?" Why was this conversation becoming distinctly uncomfortable. 

"No, I'm not wrong. You're in denial. I've seen very few men look at a woman the way he just looked at you when your were laughing. It was written all over his face. There's only one thing that produces that look, and it's rare." Scully raised her eyebrows. She was irritated that she wouldn't let this go. She didn't want to have an argument with Kendra on her last day. 

Kendra sighed. "Love, that's the only thing that produces that look." 

"Nope. Sorry. Actually, you're more his type; tall, think, dark, buxom. I've seen his women. They were all like you, dark hair, dark eyes. I'm short, red-headed with stumpy legs and small chest. Definitely not Mulder's type." Why did it hurt to say that? 

"Who are you trying to convince? Me or You?" At the scowl on Dana's face, she decided to stop pushing and joke instead. "O.K., I'll drop it. Your loss though. You could have him if you wanted him. He'd be yours for the asking. And he is hot." 

* * *

4:45 PM 

Mulder had gotten a cup of Caf Latte and wandered back toward the pathology hoping to hurry her along. He was impatient to be alone with her. These two weeks had been torture. It seemed to have done her a world of good though. He remembered her laughter and thought for the millionth time that she'd probably be better off working in medicine. But he couldn't imagine being without her now. He was a selfish bastard and he'd do anything to get her to stay if she ever acted as though she were going to leave. He paused outside to take a deep breath. She'd kill him if he busted in again. He should probably knock. He raised his hand and stopped when he heard Kendra say. "O.K., I'll drop it. Your loss though. You could have him if you wanted him. He'd be yours for the asking. And he is hot." 

He ducked against the wall away from the window in the door. Who were they talking about? Who could Scully 'have'? The thought of her attracted to someone else created a clenching sensation in his chest and made it hard to breath. Kendra went on. 

"All right, but don't tell me you haven't checked out that spectacular ass of his?" Scully chuckled, relieved they were going to joke now. She would play along. She didn't want to leave on a tense note. 

"Oh, yeeaahh. I never said I didn't look. I just said I didn't touch." Kendra laughed. 

"Wow, what a view, I feel like I should thank you." Scully giggled again. 

"Now you know what I meant when I said..." 

"Funny you should mention it," Kendra finished for her. God, Dana, I almost fainted!' 

"Sorry. It was hilarious though. The look on your face was priceless." 

"He's hot, Dana. Really hot and he likes you, I don't care what you say." 

Mulder squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed hard against the bile rising in his throat. Then he tuned in again to Scully's voice as it traveled through he cracks between the bay doors. WHO? His mind was screaming. Mulder you are a masochistic asshole for listening like this. He had not intention of leaving though. 

Scully sighed. "All right, I'll give - a little. I agree. He's hot, smoldering hot, especially when he smiles at me. And if you think his ass is super fine in dress slacks, you should see it in jeans!" Now it was Kendra's turn to giggle. 

"What else? What else?" she prompted, like an excited teenager. Scully couldn't resist. If she kept this joking, it would be O.K. and Kendra was easy to talk to and she had wanted to say some things aloud for a long time. It might even be cathartic and get I out of her system. Thought put into words often gave perspective and she could use some now. She was confused. Kendra's observations had shook her more than she wanted to admit. 

"Hmmm, let's see." 

"Come on, Dana, spill it. I want the dirty details. I have to live vicariously through someone." Scully giggled, warming to their easy rapport again and feeling 16 years old. She began to strip of her scrubs and wash her hands as she spoke. 

"Well, he can have this look that kills me. When he's disappointed, or concentrating really hard, he pouts like a little boy and his bottom lip sticks out." 

"Mmm. I noticed those lips. Ever want to suck on that bottom lip?" 

"KENDRA!" Scully blushed. Kendra raised her eyebrows. "Yeah, actually, the thought has crossed my mind." 

"What else has crossed your mind?" 

"Hmm. What would it be like to kiss him, run my hands over that chest. Christ, I can't believe I'm telling you this!" 

"Keep going, more, more!" Kendra was careful to keep her tone light and teasing. She could see a crack in Dana's veneer and wanted her to keep talking and maybe hear herself. Dana suddenly looked serious. 

"O.K., confession? If you'll hear it." 

"Pleeaassee." Kendra whined. Scully chuckled and took a deep breath. 

"O.K., I used to have these fantasies about him, you know, when I masturbated." 

"Oh, god." 

"Yeah, oh god. I thought that would be a harmless way to take care of my attraction, but it made it worse, so I stopped." 

"How?" 

"I bought Playgirl Magazines and a vibrator and threw myself into work. It served to get me back on track and my mind out of the gutter. 

Mulder almost choked. Scully with a Playgirl Magazine and a vibrator, masturbating. Despite his horror over this man she was fantasizing about, he felt his traitorous body respond to the thought of her touching herself. He bit back a groan. 

"I like your gutter, Dana." Both women laughed. 

"Yeah, well, I was able to be O.K. during the daytime but then when I slept it was another story." 

"Dreams?" 

"Yeah, hot, erotic ones. We'd be making love and I would be on fire." 

"I'll bet! Then what?" 

"Then, god, this is embarrassing." 

"Tell me, Dana, please." 

"I'd wake up having an orgasm, and not just any old, little fluttering orgasm either!' 

"Holy shit!" 

"No kidding." 

"Tell me." 

"They were powerful. I can't even describe them really." 

"Try." She looked up into Kendra's eager face while drying her hands, then tilted her head back and closed her eyes, remembering. 

"Ahh, god, clenching is one word, keening is another. Violent comes to mind." 

"Jesus, Dana. I'm getting hot just thinking about it." 

"Yeah, I had one this morning." 

"This morning? Maybe seeing him again triggered it." 

"Yeah, I hadn't had one of those dreams in almost eight months. Then this morning it happened again, with a vengeance." 

"You got it bad girl." Scully looked up to see Kendra looking at her as though studying her face. 

"Please don't say anything to anyone ever. I'm not going to do anything about it." 

"God, Dana, of course not. I appreciate your trust in telling me. But maybe you should do something about it." Scully nodded. 

Mulder had sunk down the wall holding his stomach, his breathing shallow. Christ, he was hyperventilating. Scully, NO! His mind screamed in denial that she was so attracted to someone else. Then he heard her again and forced himself to concentrate on her voice. 

"The worst of part is..." 

"There's more?" Dana chuckled without humor. 

"Yeah, not only do I wake up shake, rattle and roll, I'm always screaming his name. I can't believe the neighbors haven't complained. I'm terrified it will happen when I'm on the road out on a case. 

Mulder gulped. He'd never heard her scream anyone's name in her sleep. 

Kendra grimaced. "Ooo, that could be uncomfortable. What arrangements do you and your partner usually have on the road." 

"Connecting rooms." 

"Yeah, definitely some potential for disaster there." 

"No kidding, huh? Yeah, I can just picture my supreme humiliation waking up in some seedy motel room screaming Mulder's name and having him hear me. He'd come charging to my rescue thinking I was hurt or something. What the hell would I say to him? Oops, sorry to wake you, Mulder. I just had a mind-melting orgasm dreaming about you. No big deal." 

"Spiders?" Kendra offered ruefully. Both women laughed at that, and then heard a thump on the wall outside the bay doors. They both looked startled and headed for the doors. 

OH MY GOD! Did she just say what I think she just said? His untouched Caf Latte dropped from his nerveless fingers and he stood up and swayed against the wall, his hand reaching out to catch himself. The cup crashed to the floor and the cup bouncing. He glanced at it, registering the sound and panicked. And he ran. No time for the elevator wait. He hit the stairwell door at a run, crashing through and bouncing down the stairs three at a time. When he reached the ground floor, four floors below he stopped, panting hard, his forehead on the door. He took a deep breath and wrenched it open heading for the Men's Room off the cafeteria. 

Dana and Kendra opened the doors to no one. They both stared wordlessly at the puddle of coffee on the floor and the empty Styrofoam cup. 

"What the hell?" Kendra asked, not expecting an answer. Dana shook her head. 

"Do you think someone was listening?" Her voice sounded slightly hysterical to own ears. Kendra placed a hand on her shoulder. 

"I doubt it, look, get a rag and I'll check the bathrooms." Dana nodded and spun back into the autopsy bay. Something shiny caught Kendra's eyes and she bent down to scoop up the tiny god bar, turned it over in her palm and gasped. It was a gold tie clip with the initials FWM emblazoned on the front. She quickly pocketed the tie clip and headed for the bathrooms. They were empty. She contemplated for a moment. It was surely his tie clip. She didn't know his middle initial but FM pretty much summed it up. Should she tell Dana? How much had he heard? Even if he only heard the last few sentences, that was bad enough. No, she wouldn't tell Dana. She would just panic. I'll have to find out his phone # and get the clip back to him somehow. Dana had to go to dinner now with this conversation fresh in her head. No, knowing he'd heard anything, the stoic Dana Scully would retreat and wrap her embarrassment around her like armor and call off the date. And no matter what she said, foxy Fox Mulder was besotted with his diminutive partner. She smiled to herself and went back out into the hall as a plan formed. 

Kendra saw a rookie agent coming down the hallway, Steve Crowe. She knew he had a crush on her and he was kind of cute. She liked him. "Hey, Crowe!" 

"Hey, Kendra, what's going on?" 

"Steve, will you do me a favor, no questions asked?" 

"Well, sure." 

"It's a joke but I have to keep it a secret." 

Scully had cleaned up the coffee and thrown away the cup. She was in the locker room off the bay when she heard the door open. She began babbling immediately at the tall woman as she yanked her scrub top off and applied her deodorant with a dash of baby powder on top. 

"Oh, God, Kendra! Who was it? It wasn't him, was it? I think I'm gonna be sick. I just want to crawl in a hole and die. It was him, wasn't it? And if it wasn't, that was just too juicy to keep. Some little rookie bastard will spread it up and down these halls and I'll be the laughing stock of the FBI. Jesus. How could I have been so stupid to tell you that inside these walls? What am I going to do?!" She was wailing by the end of it. 

Kendra gripped her by the shoulders. "DANA! Calm down. It's O.K." 

"It's NOT O.K.!" 

"Yes, it is. It was not your partner out there." 

Dana peered at her. "Are you sure?" 

"Yes, it was Agent Crowe. He has a crush on me. He was coming to see me and he dropped his coffee, burning his hand. Not serious, but it hurt and he high tailed it to the bathroom." 

"Oh dear." 

"Yeah, I found him in the Men's room when I hollered in. I've bandaged his hand. He'll be O.K. I asked him how long he was out there. He said only about two seconds. He couldn't have heard anything." Dana sagged into the locker. 

"Oh, thank god." 

"Get dressed and go have dinner with that fox!" 

"Kendra, sheesh!" 

"Did you hear yourself earlier, Dana? Just think about it, O.K.?" 

"But Bureau protocol..." 

"Screw that. Do you have any idea how many agents are involved with each other? No one else could put up with us and our lifestyle, except another agent. We know it and they know it. My ex proved that. If you're discreet, it can work. Lots of couples here make it work." 

"You really think so?" 

"I know so. Look, Dana, when you've got chemistry with someone like you've got with that man, no one else is going to do, you know what I mean? You have to find out and put it to rest or it's going to eat you up inside. Now, go knock him dead, girlfriend!" 

"Thanks, Kendra. Sorry I freaked. I've enjoyed working with you.": 

"Come back anytime. But now, get the hell out of here and quit keeping that man waiting." 

"Thanks again." 

"Chow." 

* * *

5:05 PM 

Mulder splashed water on his face and gripped the sink until his breathing returned to normal. She was talking about me. It was impossible to wrap his mind around it. But it was true. Wasn't it? He hadn't been hearing things. Wishful thinking hadn't put his name in her mouth. He'd been sure in fact that she was speaking about some mystery man at Quantico. 

She woke up screaming my name in the middle of a powerful orgasm. How many dreams? How any fantasies about hearing his name on those pouty lips during sex? How many sessions of masturbation, watching porno flicks featuring petite red heads. I have to get a grip. He couldn't let on that he knew. But after 5 years of hiding his feelings, and arguing with himself about whether to declare himself, the inner battle was over. Christ, Scully might not be in love with him the way he was in love with her but she was obviously attracted to him. Viciously attracted to him by the sounds of things. 

He smiled a predatory smile, knowing the asshole demon was stalking him. But damn! Having a woman like Scully lust after you was good for the ego, no matter what. Damn good. No matter if you were humble to begin with, which he was not. He looked in the mirror. "O.K., Mulder. Keep your cool. Time to pour on the charm. I know you can do it. 

Damn, where the hell is my tie clip? 

Dana brushed her hair in the mirror, leaving it a little fluffy. She didn't have time to fuss with it and didn't want it to look like she'd taken a lot of time with her appearance anyway. Besides, she wasn't working now. She was going on a date with Mulder. Date? No. Just dinner. They'd probably talk about work anyway. She put her lipstick on and it suddenly looked gaudy. She wiped it off and decided to go without it. 

She looked down at the light blue dress she'd bought to change into. It had a square neck line revealing the tops of her breasts, just a hint of cleavage. The fitted waist and straight skirt hugged her body snugly, but not tightly. The skirt fell to a about two inches above the knee and suddenly felt too short. She tugged on the hem as she stepped into her blue leather flats. No heels tonight. She'd wanted to be comfortable. She looked in the mirror once more. Her cheeks were flushed with anticipation. 

God, two weeks away is a dangerous thing. It's just dinner. Should she take Kendra's advice. Could she possibly be right? She took a deep breath. Well, here goes. The words 'knock him dead' echoed in her head. Maybe she would. Did she want to? No sense in denying it now. He thoughts, now spoken aloud confirmed that. The talk had been cathartic, but hadn't had the desired effect. She did not have this out of her system. Quite the contrary. Yes, Dana, you are hot for your partner, no doubt about it. If he teased her tonight, she just might give it back to him. 

She exited the locker room and was introduced to Agent Crowe, sporting a bandage on his right hand. They all headed out at the same time. 

* * *

5:15 PM 

They stepped into the lobby and Steve muttered about the call of nature and headed for the rest room. Mulder felt her the minute she stepped off the elevator. He could always tell when she was in a room even if he couldn't see her. He pretended interest in the magazine he was holding in his lap. He looked up slowly, catching her eye from under her lashes. He sat the magazine down and slowly unfolded his lanky frame from the bench. They both stared for a moment as she approached. God, she looked like an angel. Her hair was soft and floating around her head in waves. He had a sudden desire to run his hands through it. And that dress! 

"Hey, Scully, ready to go? Finally," he teased. 

Battle stations engaged, she thought. "I like to keep you waiting, Mulder, builds tension." He it hip lip to swallow a moan. Did she know that he had heard? No. She wouldn't be here if she knew. If she was going to be sassy tonight, he was in trouble. It was his biggest turn on, flirting with her. Knowing what he knew, it would be even worse now. 

"Why, Agent Scully, I didn't know you like tension." 

"Depends on what kind. Can make you tired, but good tired." 

"Didn't know you wanted to tire me out, but you can try." Kendra watched the exchange. Damn, he's good, she thought. Not a clue from his demeanor. He was the same guy that had been in the bay earlier. No nervousness, no self conscience actions. But she was sure he'd heard something. Steve emerged from the bathroom to join them. 

"Hey, Kendra, look what I found on the floor in there? Know any agents with the initials FWM?" 

Mulder looked at him sharply. "Yeah, me. Fox Mulder." He stuck out his hand and the agent held up his bandaged hand. 

"What happened?" Mulder asked. 

"Oh, burnt myself, dropped a hot cup of coffee upstairs." 

Mulder looked at him sharply, then at Kendra. His question must have been etched on his face because she winked from behind Dana's back. So, he had someone on his side, did he? She knew and obviously was covering for him. Bless sneaky, Dr. Kendra McKenna. Must have dropped the clip upstairs. God, that could have been a disaster. Fate must be on his side. He smiled at her broadly and then at Agent Crowe. 

Agent Crowe held up the clip with his other hand. "This must be yours then." 

"Thanks," he said pointedly to Kendra and then looked back at Agent Crowe, "uh, for the clip." He placed it back on his tie. "Thanks, I really appreciate that." 

"Go have fun," Kendra grinned. 

* * *

* * *

PART 2: THE LEAP:  <CONTEMPLATION>

Mulder put his hand on Dana's back as usual as they walked through the parking garage to his car. She could feel the heat of his hand through the dress. Why did his touch seem so much more intimate all of a sudden. She shivered. This was ridiculous. 

"Cold?" 

"Huh?" 

"Are you cold? You shivered." 

"Uh, no, just the shock of the outside air, I guess." 

They'd reached the car and Mulder bend down to unlock her door. He opened the door, his hand on top of the frame. She was small enough to duck under his arm. As she went brush by him to slip inside, he hands landed on her waist and she gasped. 

"Mulder, what are you doing?" He just stared at her for a moment, his eyes traveling over her breasts and down her tiny frame. 

"Mulder?" 

His voice was husky. "You look beautiful. God, I've missed you Scully." His chuckle was a nervous one. 

"It was only two weeks, Mulder." His voice! 

"It felt like a year." She looked at the ground and startled out a squeak when he folded his arms around her back and pulled her against his chest, leaning his back against the car, sliding down so he was level with her face. "I'm so glad you're back," he breathed into her ear. She knew they shouldn't be embracing here in the parking garage. This definitely was not in the discreet category. But, heaven help her, his heat felt so good. 

Her arms wrapped around his waist and she laid her head on his chest. "I missed you too, Mulder." His hand skimmed down her spine and came to rest on the small of her back. She felt her nipples harden against his firm chest and bit back a moan. Her hands moved around to the front of his shirt and up the sides of his chest. She didn't mean to say it out loud, but the words slipped out without permission. "Oh, God, Mulder, you feel sooo good." 

He did moan then, right into her ear, sending vibrations down her body that lodged between her legs. The hand on the small of her back pulled her to him tightly and she felt his rock hard erection through his dress slacks. He was cradled perfectly in the juncture of her thighs. 

"Jesus, Scully," he whispered. "Don't say things like that to me unless you're ready for the consequences." 

Why am I not pulling away? He's so hard. He feels so good, so warm. Her voice was a small squeak. "Consequences?" 

His answer was to push his hips into hers holding her firmly against his hips and grinding himself into her juncture. She did moan then. She couldn't help it as she felt the lips between her legs tingle, thicken and grow slick with moisture. "Oh, god, Mullldder." Her eyes slipped shut and her head fell backwards. 

So much for the slow seduction he thought. Her moan sent a bolt of sensation straight to his groin and he hardened further, now fully erect. He knew she felt it. They were in the parking garage! "Damn you, Scully," he bit out. "You drive me crazy. You're so beautiful." She shivered and then was jolted back to reality when his lips descended on hers. 

What am I doing? His tongue was sliding into her mouth, hot, hungry and wet. Her tongue reached out for his involuntarily and he grabbed it with his soft lips and sucked it gently into his own mouth. Her knees buckled and a whimper escaped her. He caught her and held her upright. His arm was like a steel band around the small of her back. He deepened the kiss. 

His head was spinning. He was kissing, Scully! Finally! And she was kissing him back! Her firm little body felt so good, strong but so soft and pliant in his arms. He didn't want to stop but knew he had to. He broke the kiss reluctantly and put his forehead on hers, panting heavily. 

"Sweet Jesus, Scully. What just happened?" 

Her heart was hammering in her chest. Having your knees buckle from just a kiss was a myth from cheesy romance novels. Until now. She should have known Mulder would be too damn good at kissing. Guess there were advantages to an oral fixation. She was in trouble. She knew it. She needed some space between them to unscramble her brain. 

"I'm not sure, Mulder. Let's go eat, I'm hungry." 

"Me too." His eyes met hers, lids hooded, pupils dilated, desire written all over his face. A couple of errant strands of hair fell across his forehead. He wasn't talking about the food. Could anything be any sexier than aroused Mulder? He licked his bottom lip and she closed her eyes. One more move like that one and she would be sucking on it. Kendra's comment about his lips was running through her head like a mantra. I noticed those lips. Ever want to suck on that bottom lip? 

"Please, Mulder, let this sit for a minute. I'm not quite ready to figure this out yet. Let's just go eat." 

"We will talk about this." 

"Yes, I know, but not here. Please, Mulder." 

"If you promise I can kiss you again before this night is over." 

"Mulder." 

"One kiss Scully. Just one more time. Later. But before I leave you tonight." 

"Oh, O.K., Mulder, let's just go." 

He released her and slowly walked to his side as she slid into the passenger seat. Well, this was going to be an interesting evening. Just one more kiss. No specifics. Not time, no rules. How back could it be? Really, really bad, her other self mocked her. Dana sighed. She was feeling more and more like being really bad. But Mulder was good at being very bad. Could she handle this, him? Only one way to find out. 

The drive to the restaurant was made in virtual silence, punctuated only be deep breaths, sighs and the occasional position adjustment. Both were lost in their own thoughts. 

If she didn't know better, she'd think that Mulder had heard her confess her lust and attraction. But no, Kendra had no reason to lie and Agent Crowe had the bandaged hand to prove it. Mulder had hugged her before, even said he'd missed her before. But he had never held her so tight, or breathed in her ear that way. He had never been so bold. Then again, you've never been so receptive. It's your own fault, her mind whispered. You've never encouraged him. You sank into his arms, held him in return. You told him he felt good for Christ's sake. He's a man, Dana. How did you think he would react. And he's not just any man either. He's a hot blooded, passionate man. You know that. And you've been apart for two weeks. He tells you he misses you, gives a hug and you go all hormonal on him. I have to get a grip here. 

Oh god, I promised him another kiss. What the hell was I thinking? If it's anything like the first one, I'm doomed. What a kiss! What a kisser! I knew he'd be good at it but holy mother of god. He literally made my knees give out from just a kiss, fully clothed! What could he do with no barriers. She shivered at the thought. I'm in trouble now. Damn Kendra. She started this. I was too worked up after that conversation to go meet him. I let my guard down. Can't do that with Mulder. His radar is so sensitive. He knows me too well. Her mind whispered to her again. You chose to tell Kendra your secrets, you didn't have to. She didn't force you . SHUT UP! Mulder's radar must have picked up on her mood. She probably felt a little to compliant in his arms, dressed a little too...Christ, you told him he felt good. What were you thinking? It was going to be a long night. 

Mulder's eidetic memory replayed the things he'd overheard. They were having a distinctly different effect now that he knew she had been talking about him. Nausea had turned to delight. Clenching stomach muscles had turned to arousal. Shortness of breath was still there, but not from panic this time. 

If you think his ass is super fine in dress slacks you should see it in jeans. Scully had checked out his ass! When had that happened? He must have been totally out of it. He could usually feel whenever her eyes were on him. She'd said she wanted to suck on his bottom. Hi flagging hard-on reemerged with a vengeance at that thought and he shifted his position to spread his legs wider and give himself some room. 

She'd fantasized about him when she masturbated. He bit back a groan. The images that conjured up in his overactive imagination were almost painful. How many nights had he spent doing the same thing and crying out her name when he came. She'd dreamed about him and woke up having an orgasm. This morning! 

He wanted to give her orgasms all right, but in person. God, what was she like in bed? Was she the confident, self-possessed Scully with Catholic guilt or was she Dana with a passion that made her lose control? Was she tender? Was she aggressive? He had to get his mind on something else before he ruined the evening. 

Doubt crept in again as usual. Just because she had a fantasy about you doesn't mean she wants to make it a reality, old boy. If she does, that doesn't mean she's ready yet, or her adherence to rules and regulations won't stop her. What the hell would she want with you anyway? You've been nothing but a catalyst to turn her life upside down since the day you met her. Just because she thinks you are attractive doesn't mean she loves you, or even likes you. We fight all the time. 

He parked the car and shut off the engine. Now what? She made no move to exit the car. After a deep breath sounded in the silence of the car, she spoke. 

"Mulder?" 

"Hmmm?" 

"Are you O.K.?" 

"I'm not sure." His chuckle was self-deprecating. 

"Can we get through this dinner?" 

"I've waited all week for this dinner." 

"Me too." Silence. 

"Look, Dana, I'm not entirely sure what is happening here, but we're adults. We can handle this, whatever it is. I won't have something like this mess up our friendship. I know I probably shocked you back there and I have no excuse. But I won't lie and tell you that I'm sorry, because I'm not. I'd like to say it was spur of the moment, or a stupid reaction to being away from you for two weeks, or that I just lost control for a second and it won't happen again." He paused. "But I can't promise you that. I can't." 

He chanced a glance at her and she was regarding him calmly. At least she didn't seem angry, which puzzled him a bit. The silence stretched. It became uncomfortable again so he spoke again, looking out the windshield. 

"The truth is, that's not the first time you've turned me on. Not by a long shot. But you've never...you've never said anything when I held you before. You've never held me back, only to comfort me a time a two." He was breathing hard trying to suppress the lump that was rising in his throat. Real smooth, Mulder he thought to himself. Where did your confidence go? You forgot what her presence does to you. The cocky scene with the bathroom mirror flashed before his eyes and he felt the sting of tears. 

"Damn it, Dana! You said I felt good. What the hell? Do you have any idea what that did to me? Huh?" 

Softly. "I saw what it did to you." 

"I think my brain short-circuited." 

She softly chuckled at that and he turned to look at her again. 

"Mulder, I'm a little confused by own behavior. I'm not sure what to do now, but I don't want this to ruin the evening or even worse, make it so we can't talk to each other. I feel really stupid. I never should have..." 

"Don't," he said sharply. "Do not feel bad about this, please. I couldn't take it. My behavior was inappropriate. I know it. You know it. But please do NOT tell me you regret it, even if you do, I can't hear that right now. What the hell was I thinking? We were in the middle of a parking garage at Quantico for god sakes! Real smooth. I just..." 

"Just?" 

He looked at her, eyes wet with unshed tears. "I just wanted to touch you so badly! I missed you so much! Shit!" He shouted, banging his hand on the steering wheel and abruptly opening the car door and leaping out. I will NOT cry, he told himself. I will NOT cry in front of her over this. He strode around the back of the car hearing her door open. He rounded the corner and stopped short as Scully blocked his path. Christ she was quick. She put both hands on his forearms and he froze. 

"Don't touch me, Scully." She pulled her hands away as though she'd been burned and he saw the flash of hurt in her eyes. He looked away. He couldn't look at her right now. He was making such an ass out of himself, he thought. This wasn't going at all the way he'd expected. It was easy to fantasize. It was easy to be confident when you were alone and daydreaming about the way you wanted it to be. It was so easy when she was there in front of him. He'd loved her for so long. She was only woman who could reduce him to a stuttering fool, like some 16 year old on his first date. 

Scully watched the play of emotions across his face and his struggle to regain control over his emotions. She'd confused the shit out of him and now he couldn't even stand to have her touch him. He probably took her silence in the car to mean that she was ignoring what had happened or that it had no big significance to her. He should know her better than that, but physical contact was unexplored territory for them. How would he know what it meant to her? This was all her fault. She knew how sensitive he was, especially when it came to her. She knew he respected her. No man had ever respected her like he did and treated her like an equal like he did. She loved him for it. Love? Did she? She could see him beating the shit out of himself for having touched her. Now he was struggling to pull back and she realized that wasn't what she wanted. 

"Mulder, stop it!" He breathed deeply through his nose, lips clamped shut in a thin line. "Mulder, it's O.K. Stop beating yourself. I could have stopped you, but I didn't. And I do NOT regret it." 

"I started it, what an ass." 

"I could have stopped you!" 

He looked down at her. She was gazing up at him, a worried frown on her face. Why was he always making her frown? 

She whispered, "I could have stopped you but I didn't want to." His eyes widened, but he didn't move, just kept watching her. 

"Did you hear me?" she asked. He nodded sharply. 

"I didn't want to because you did feel good, Mulder. I thought it and didn't mean to say it but it slipped out. You're my partner, Mulder, it shouldn't feel that good to be held by you." A quirky smile lifted the corners of her mouth briefly and was quickly reined in. She took a deep breath, opened her mouth and shut it again, her eyes sliding shut as though she was gathering her courage. 

Don't move, Fox, he said to himself. Don't move. She was so beautiful. What was she saying? He was so confused. He felt good, but it couldn't happened again, even though she didn't regret it? He felt good, but she wanted it to happen again? Or, it felt good, and she didn't know what she wanted to do? 

Another deep breath and her eyes opened. She looked at him and blurted out. "God help me, Mulder, you are a fabulous kisser." 

Don't move. 

"Mulder, you accomplished something in that stupid parking garage that no one has ever accomplished." 

He scrunched up his brows together. His voice sounded scratchy and hoarse to his own ears. "What's that Scully, taking advantage of our friendship and getting you to forget where you were?" His tone was self castigating. 

She looked him the eyes and he struggled to hold her gaze. "No, you made my knees buckle." 

"Jesus Christ, Scully, are you trying to kill me? Because I'm about the have a heart attack here and I don't know what to do! What the hell do you want from me!" He was almost shouting. 

She laughed. That rippling, vibrant laugh he'd heard from those autopsy bay doors. "Mulder?" 

"Yeah?" 

She stepped into him and slid her hand up to the back of his neck. "Scully?" 

"Do it again, Mulder." 

His breath left his lungs in a powerful surge and his body reacted without his permission. Hi slips descended on hers, firm, soft, not bruising. He was asking permission to enter, his tongue swept over her bottom lip and back across her teeth. A shock of electricity leaped between them and she whimpered, opening her mouth, inviting him in. He stopped thinking all together and his tongue flew inside, raking her teeth and the roof of her mouth. Then he proceeded to dual with her tongue alternately, swirling his around hers and then capturing it to suck it back gently into his mouth. 

That did it! Her knees turned to water and she stumbled, pushing him back against the truck of the car. His arms grabbed her around the waist and lifted her up as he leaned on the truck. He pulled her between his long, lean legs. She landed on his chest with a soft grunt and her arms went around his neck. He broke the kiss and lowered himself, sitting on the trunk so they were almost eye to eye. She was so tiny. 

"Scully?" Her answer was to crush her lips to his in a brutal claiming kiss. He opened his mouth, letting her in, letting her take control. She was wild, aroused. He'd never seen her this way and it was intoxicating. He head swam as her tiny hands left his neck to slide inside his jacket and run up and down his chest. He shuddered and pulled her in tight against his groin. In spite of her aggression, he was shocked when she ground her hips into his and growled low in her throat. 

He vaguely registered that they were in yet another public place. It was dark now but the place was fairly well lit. Then his mind blanked out as one tiny hand slid down his thigh, squeezing his quadricep and then sliding to his inner thigh and up and over his erection. His groan was primal and hi ships bucked against her involuntarily. 

She broke the kiss, panting heavily. He just held her tight against him, lacing his forehead on hers, trying to get his own breathing under control. 

"Mulder, oh my god..." Then she chuckled again, the sound low and sultry. "Seems I have a thing for parking lots." He laughed then and she joined him. It took the edge of the pain between his legs. 

"What now, Scully?" 

"Are you still hungry?" 

"Uh, a little, but I don't think I can walk right now." She chuckled and extricated herself from his arms. He let go reluctantly and then grabbed her forearms to steady her as she wobbled. 

"Jesus, Mulder, what'd you say about not being able to walk?" His smile was lit up his face like a beacon. He was still breathing hard but his eyes were shining at her, dark with passion and now amusement. "Proud of yourself?" she asked. 

"Not proud, no. Delighted? Yes. Stunned. Yes. Dreaming? Maybe." 

"Let's go inside." 

"Scully..." 

"Don't worry. This isn't over. But we do need to eat. I promise not to pull away if you promise the same thing. But I need to get my bearings, here." 

"That's what I'm afraid of. You'll get your bearings and by the end of the evening, you'll have 101 excuses why we should never touch each other ever again." 

"Is that really what you want or is it male lust rearing its ugly head because I reacted to you." She was stunned by the look of abject horror and pain on his face at her words. 

"How could you think that!" He shouted. "Is that what this is to you? Lust?" She winced. 

"NO! I'm just trying to sort this out." 

He breathed deeply. "Stop trying to sort it out and listen to your feelings." 

"You wanted this before tonight then?" 

He looked at her. "I told you that in the car." 

"How long?" He was silent. "Mulder?" 

"A long time." 

"How long? Give a ball park." 

He smiled at the baseball reference. "About five years I guess." 

"Five years!" she shouted. He grinned sheepishly. 

"Look I'll tell you the whole story if you ever want to hear it, but later. If we don't get inside that restaurant, we're not going to eat tonight. I promise to try and not take what you say the wrong way if you will do the same." 

"Deal. Let's have dinner. Neither of us is going anywhere. We have time to talk about this." 

"We've never been good at talking things out, Scully." 

"I know, but I'm willing to try, are you?" 

"You know I am." 

"Well, then let's eat." She reached out and took his hand and they entered the restaurant, fingers gripped together. 

* * *

* * *

PART 3: THE LEAP <REVELATIONS>

The host led them to an intimate little table in the rear of the restaurant. Mulder knew she loved French food and this restaurant. He'd never brought her here but she had casually mentioned it one time when they were talking about food cravings. She was flattered that he remembered and then she mentally smacked her forehead with her palm. Mulder and his damn memory, he never forgot anything. That could be good, but she always felt that Mulder saw it as a curse sometimes. It can in handy for repeating conversations verbatim or memorizing reports, but it also meant he had a store house of gruesome and horrifying sights catalogued away between his ears. She couldn't imagine what it must be like to not be able to forget one single case. Not be able to vanquish the hundreds of crime scenes they had visited, not be able to have them fade in your memory until they were just a misty impression. 

It was amazing the man wasn't completely insane. And he had been a profiler, a brilliant one too. Analyzing the worst of human nature and never being able to forget. That was the foundation of his personality. He was undoubtedly dark and somber a lot of the time. But she suddenly was amazed that he could enjoy anything at all, knowing what he knew about the world and the people in and never being able to forget. 

It was one thing to have a photographic and eidetic memory and work as an accountant, your days filled with paper and numbers. It was completely another thing to be a criminal profiler and FBI agent who saw the underbelly of the world. She realized that the strength that he had to endure all this and still be able to function at all must be immense. Towering strength, built on convictions, passion and an innate sense of right and wrong and justice, and always, truth. His religion was truth, in all things. He trusted her. What a gift that this man trusted her like he trusted no one else. 

Did she deserve that trust? Had she always been completely honest with him? No, she hadn't. She had hidden her insecurities about measuring up in the good old boy network. She had hidden her weaknesses of emotion and horror and fright at some of the things they'd seen. Dishonesty by omission was a specialty of hers. And today proved that she could even deny and lie about the biggest emotion there was, love. She had even kept that from him. Why? Fear. That's what it all came down to. Fear of losing her job. Fearing of losing respect from the other agents and her superiors. Fear of losing her stoic reputation. And most of all, fear of him not loving her back. That would be the worst. 

Did he love her? He hadn't said the words. He'd said that this wasn't about lust, but he hadn't said love either. But why would he? He was obviously expected her to weasel deal out of the conversation that was looming large tonight. He expected her to reject him. And it hurt him. She could see that. He had no reason, based on her past behavior to think she would do anything but reject him. Like everyone else in his life had. His father had beat him, his mother had ignored him, his sister had left him and the other agents lost their respect for him when he entered the X-files. How many years had he spent with no one believing in him? No one to back him up? No one to encourage him? The strength it must have taken to keep going. So now, here they were. Her attraction was undeniable now, even to him. Kissing him outside had been the first honest thing she'd done with regard to her feelings for him in a long time. 

Did she have the courage to be completely honest with him? She had to find it. She couldn't let him down now. She would have to lay her heart bare, and hope the hell he wouldn't wound it beyond repair. It was a risk she swore never to take. But Fox Mulder had a way of shattering her best intentions, and believes and morays that she had held sacred for years. As much as that scared the shit out of her, it always challenged her and brought out the best parts of her. He challenged her intelligence with his towering IQ. He challenged her skills as an investigator with his wild theories. He challenged her heart with his faith in her. Could she do any less and deserve his trust? No. 

Well, well, she thought. One day and I've had about 10 epiphanies. What next? How did this ball get rolling anyway? 

They ate for a while in silent contemplation, lost in their own thoughts again. They did this a lot and Mulder was relieved that this was not uncomfortable. Silence had never bothered them. In the car it had been deafening but they seemed to have eased back into the comfortable silence that doing the mundane task of eating could give them. He had watched, rapt as she had slowly chewed on her escargot. Now as she put tiny pieces of her Beef Wellington into her mouth, sliding her lips across the fork, he continued to contemplate this situation. 

At least she wasn't running screaming away from him. How many times had he hurt her, confused her, ditched her for her own good. Her own good? He realized now that by trying to protect her, he had insulted her. He had insulted her intelligence, he had insulted her ability to take care of herself, and insulted her by not giving her a choice. It implied that she was not capable of making the correct choice. She had argued about taking many trips with him that she thought would be a waste of time. But at least then she had been given a choice whether or not to participate. He began clicking through the rolodex of his out of town ventures in this regard. She had always chosen to go with him, no matter how much of a wild goose chase it had been. Why? She may have argued about it but in the end she had always come with him. He had always thought that she came because she didn't want him getting into trouble that could embarrass her later and so came to keep an eye on him, spy on him, so to speak. 

He knew she was no longer there to debunk his work like she had been in the beginning. But he also knew that he had a large capacity to create embarrassing situations for her. He was used to it. He had developed the thick skin of callous bastard long before she arrived. The puns, insults and lack of faith by others didn't penetrate the armor he had erected around himself. He had not needed the approval of others. 

He realized with a sudden clarity that she had needed the approval of others, especially him and he had not always given it to her. She certainly deserved it. She needed the approval of her superiors. She needed the approval of her parents. She needed the respect and approval of the medical community. And most of all, she needed his respect and approval. She needed to know that he thought she was an equal, able to handle anything he could, or she would feel incompetent, unappreciated and angry. 

He was a psychologist for Christ's sake. Why had he not realized this? He was too close to her. The answer sprang to mind. A psychologist or profiler had to crawl into the minds of their patients or the criminal and empathize, but they had to remain objective also and detached to a certain degree to be effective. Objective and detached were two words that he would never put near his feelings for Scully. She was the center of his universe whether she knew it or not. And why didn't she know it? He'd always assumed she did. But he'd never told her. He'd never declared himself. He'd tried to show her in a million different ways. Wrong move, pal. Women need words, you know that. Women need to hear you express yourself or they are never sure if it's a tease or a ploy to get what you want from them. Psych 101 to the rescue! He looked at her ruefully. 

"What?" she asked. 

"I was thinking." 

"Uh, oh." He chuckled. 

"You know Scully, I want to tell you something." 

"Am I going to like it?" Her tone was teasing and he was relieved. Some of the tension had drained away in their silence. 

"I think so." 

"What is it?" 

"I'm trying to think how to say this." 

"You've never been one to stand on tact, Mulder, just tell me." He smiled at her and she returned it. 

"O.K. Let's see. Well, I'm sitting her realizing a lot of things. Like, for some reason, pieces of a puzzle I've been working on are suddenly falling into place." 

"What puzzle?" 

"You." 

"Oh." She held his gaze, not retreating. Maybe she was willing to let him in a little. 

"I treat you like shit." 

"Mulder, no..." He held up a hand to stop her. 

"Just let me say this before I lose my nerve." 

"O.K." 

"I know I've never said some things that I should have. I don't tell you how much I appreciate you, in so many ways. I've never told you that you are the smartest woman I've ever known. You're so smart it scares me sometimes. I've never told you that one of the reasons I've been able to keep going when everything seemed hopeless was because you were still by my side and you believed in me. I never cared if anyone believed in me, until you came along. And suddenly, one day it occurred to me that your opinion of me was the most important thing in the world to me and you thought I was a complete nut case." 

She opened her mouth to respond and he stalled her again. "No, I'm not finished. I am a nut case in a lot of ways. The things I've seen have left a mark on me that I can't erase, that I can't ever forget." He saw her expression grow sad for him. Not pity, but sadness without pity. "No, I don't want you to be sad or pity me. I know this about myself. But having you with me for almost seven years now has changed me. You kept me sane. You kept me from jumping off the cliff into total self-absorption. You kept me in the real world, made me care about someone other than myself. 

I realize now that by trying to exclude you from some of my nuttier quests, I insulted you. I never meant to. It's just that you had come to be so important to me that the thought of putting you in danger, unnecessary danger, make me sick to my stomach. I want you to know that I never took off without you because I had any doubts about your ability to keep up with me, about your ability to take care of yourself, or your ability to help me. I knew you could do all those things. But I felt like it was the most incredibly selfish thing in the world to ask you to participate in something that had no connection to the FBI, no connection to your job. 

I knew how much the respect of your peers meant to you and I didn't want to damage that for you by asking you to tramp halfway across the world on a what was probably a wild goose chase. Sometimes I was chasing the thinnest piece of a hunch and I didn't want to taint you with my madness. My quest for Samantha didn't have to taint you. That's what I thought at the time. Now I know that it was too late. It already had. You needed to hear me say these things years ago and I was too much of a chicken shit to tell you how much I respected you, how much I needed you by my side, the way you made me feel worthwhile and sane." 

He paused and chanced a look at her. Her eyes were suspiciously wet, but she just continued to gaze at him, not interrupting. "God, Scully, when you were gone, my world came apart. I was inconsolable. Ask anybody. The brightest and best part of me had been ripped away without a clue. Very suddenly, everything was just pointless; my quest for Samantha, the rest of the X-files, my relationship with my mother, who my father was, all of it. It meant nothing if I couldn't share it with you. It just wasn't important to me anymore. I realized then that without my knowledge, all my priorities had been turned upside down. And you gone, and I never told you how I felt about you. You never knew what you meant to me. I handed in my resignation." 

"You what?" Her shock was evident. 

"Yeah, I never told you that. I was too embarrassed that I'd given up without you. If I told you about it, I would have had to tell you why and I wasn't prepared to do that. And I knew I wouldn't be able to lie to you. I've been able to NOT tell you things. But I can't lie to you. I never could. I'm incapable of it." 

"Well, you're still here, so what happened?" 

"Skinner wouldn't accept my resignation. He gave me a leave of absence to get my shit together and make a decision after I was through the grieving process. What I didn't tell him what that I would never stop grieving for you. I knew it then and I know it now. You coming into my life was the best thing that ever happened me." 

She was silent still, watching him. She could feel the sincerity of his words and knew that he was revealing a part of himself that he had never shown anyone. And he was trusting her with it. He was trusting her with his feelings and thought about her no less. He was trusting her not to hurt him with this knowledge. He still hadn't said the word love, but this was probably the closest to it she would ever hear from his lips. He was not someone effusive about his feelings. No sooner was that thought finished drifting through her mind he said it after a deep breath. 

"I love you, Scully. I have for a long time. Not the fondness/love someone feels for a friend; not the sibling love one feels for a sister or brother; not the respectful love one feels for a partner. I'm in love with you Scully. I'm in love with you the way a man falls in love with a woman." 

A broken sob escaped her throat and the tears she'd been holding onto careened down her face. He immediately leaned into her and starting brushing them away with his thumbs. "Don't cry, Scully, please, don't cry. I can't stand to see you cry." 

"Oh, Mulder. I don't know what to say." 

"Don't say anything. I don't expect you to respond. I don't expect you to say anything back. I just needed for you to know. I wouldn't dream of thinking you feel the same way." 

But I do, her mind told her. And suddenly it was true. It was real. It was O.K. to accept it and not O.K. to deny it. Deny everything. Bad motto. Bad motto. What had it gained her anyway? Nope, it definitely hadn't been about lust. She felt guilty now for ever having suggested it. 

"But I do, Mulder," she whispered. 

"You do what?" 

"Love you too." 

The look of unabashed shock and disbelief on his face almost made Scully laugh. If she hadn't been in state of shock herself, she probably would have laughed. 

He muttered, "Jesus, I must be delirious." He shook his head as if to clear of words that he was imagining. She did laugh then, softly, not disturbing anyone in the restaurant. They were whispering now. 

"Are you done eating?" 

"Yes." 

"Dessert?" 

"Hell no. Not here anyway." She laughed at that also. 

"Take me home Mulder." 

"O.K." Would she invite him in? Was there evening done? She was being awfully casual about this. As if she had read his mind, she spoke again. 

"Get the check, I want to go home and be alone with you. This public places stuff has got to go." 

He beamed a smile at her signaling the waiter for the check. He whipped $150.00 cash out of wallet and dropped it on the table. "Let's go." He stood up, pulling out her chair and for the first time, he didn't lay his hand on the small of her back. He put his arm around her and slid his hand down to her waist, letting it rest there, hot and solid. The contact was intimate and for the first time ever she thought, 'I like it when he invades my personal space.' 

* * *

* * *

PART 4: THE LEAP <CONSUMMATION> Here's the NC-17 part. 

Why did I wait so long to tell her? Fear. But I wouldn't think about that now. She loved me! How was that possible? I didn't deserve her. But I was too much of a selfish bastard to worry about whether I deserved her or not. I would take whatever she was willing to give me. Whew, long day. 

On the ride home, she surprised me by asking me out on a date. "Mulder, I have to attend this pathology seminar. It's a dinner dance kind of thing, with lectures thrown in. It's one of the stupid things I need to do to keep my license up. I need to attend so many continuing education seminars. It's next weekend and we're allowed to bring a friend. Would you like to go?" 

"Be your escort, Scully?" 

"Yeah, something like that." 

"I'd love too." 

"Good, it's Saturday night." She giggled. 

"What are you giggling about?" 

"Well, I was just thinking about this other woman doctor that I run into all the time at these things. She's a prissy bitch. Every time I see her she's with some new guy. She always gives me a hard time about the fact that I always come alone. I even overheard her saying I would never get a man because I was a cold bitch." 

"You're a lot of things Scully, but a cold bitch isn't one of them." 

"Was that a complement?" 

"Yeah, it was." 

"Thanks, I think." They both laughed. 

"So, will this be a 'date'?" 

"Um, yeah, I guess it will. Do we need to date?" 

"No, we've been dating for almost seven years." 

"I guess we have." 

"But I want to date." 

"You do?" 

"Yeah, ya know, wine and dine you. I have to warn you though, I'm really out of practice." 

"You're doing good so far." 

"Am I?" 

"Yup." 

"Well, then, I guess I'll be able to figure things out as I go along." 

They rode the rest of the way in silence. 

He followed her to her door and waited while she unlocked the door. She gestured him inside and took his suit jacket, hanging it on her coat rack. He suddenly felt shy and nervous for no particular reason. He'd been in Scully's apartment a thousand times. But it was different now. He'd told her he loved her and she returned that love. That didn't mean she wanted to jump into bed with him. He knew she wanted him, but he wasn't sure suddenly how to behave. 

She walked into the kitchen without looking back and returned to the living room with a bottle of Chardonay and two wine glasses to find him still standing near the door where she had left him. 

"Mulder?" 

"Mmm?" 

"What's wrong?" She was suddenly unsure. Had she done something wrong? Had she been too presumptuous that he would want to continue the evening? He said he loved her but she was sure the confession was not easy for him and maybe he'd wanted to be alone now. 

"Nothing's wrong." 

"Then why are you still standing my the door?" 

"Umm, I'm not sure what..." 

"Not sure about what? Mulder if you don't want to be here right now, you don't have to be. I will understand." 

"NO! I mean, I want to be here, I just don't know what ..." 

"Spit it out Mulder." 

"I'm not sure what to do now." 

She smiled at him. Oh my god, he was nervous! How cute. She didn't voice that thought, he would not appreciate it. "Well, do anything you want." 

He looked at her and took a few steps into the living room. "I want whatever you want." He paused. "Tell me what you want Scully, I mean, what you want me to do, right now, I mean. Not in general. Christ, I'm more out of practice with this than I thought." 

She chuckled. "You don't need to be nervous around me Mulder, I'm not going to bite you." He laughed a nervous laugh then. 

"This is so weird. I've been in here a thousand times but I feel different being here now, not knowing what this all means, or where we go from here. I never allowed myself to think for one minute that you would return my feelings. So, I never thought about what I would do if you did. Does that make any sense at all?" 

"Yeah, it does. Look, I'm not sure what to do either, but I'll tell you what I do know." 

"Tell me." 

"I'm not ready for this evening to end, Mulder. I want to sit here on the couch and have a glass of wine." 

"I can do that." He sounded relieved. He walked to couch and sat down on one end, his back against the armrest, kiddy corner and reclined, his long legs sloping off the couch. She looked at his long legs, the way his expensive dress slacks pulled snug across his thighs as he sat down. Her eyes traveled up and she wondered what was in those slacks. She'd heard the rumors. I wonder if they're true? She gave herself a mental shake and her eyes slid up to his chest. She knew what was under that silk shirt, firm lean pecs and washboard abdomen. She'd seen him shirtless enough times. She couldn't wait to run her hands over it again. She realized she was staring and looked up to his face. 

She almost gasped at the look at raw desire and need etched across his face. His eyes were hooded like earlier, his eyes looked black and he was still, too still. She'd only seen this look twice now, but she recognized it immediately. He was aroused. Because she looked at him? Oh god. 

His voice was low and raspy. "Scully, do you have any idea what happens to me when you look at me like that?" 

Her gaze locked with his. "I'm sorry." 

"I'm not." 

She turned and set the glasses on the table and went to pour the wine, breaking the moment. She heard him take a deep, shaky breath. She was trying to get her breathing under control again. As she lifted the bottle, she realized her hands were shaking. Too late, before she could bring her other hand in for assistance, she tipped the bottle and splashed wine all down the side of the glass and onto the coffee table. She almost dropped the bottle but caught it and set it down on the table with a thunk. "Damn it!" She couldn't look at him. She was so embarrassed. She jumped up and headed into the kitchen for a dish towel. His own nervousness and embarrassment were immediately forgotten as he saw the distress on her face. God, she was as nervous as he was. 

She stomped into the kitchen and grabbed a towel off the sink and turned to head back, her eyes stinging with tears of embarrassment. She ran straight into Mulder's chest. "Umph." 

He folded his arms around her and pulled her in, resting his chin on the top of her head. She turned her head to rest her cheek on his chest. "I'm sorry Mulder. I'm being such an ass." 

"Shhh, nothing to be sorry about. We both need to relax. I don't know why I'm nervous, but I am." 

"Me neither." 

"This is still me, ya know?" 

"And this is still me," she replied softly. 

"Let's take this slow, O.K. No expectations, no demands. Let's just have our wine and try to relax. We did O.K. at dinner, let's not have a meltdown now." 

She chuckled at that. "Meltdown, huh?" 

"I feel like I'm having one." 

"Define meltdown." 

"I feel like I've lost about 100 points off my I.Q." 

She giggled and the sound was music to his ears. "Down in the double digits now are we?" He laughed with her. 

"You have that effect on me." 

"Do I?" He drew her away gently and put his hands on either side of her head, burying his hands in her hair and tilting her face up to look at him. 

"Yeah, you do. Do you know how many times I've dreamed of seeing you look at me like you did out there?" 

"No." 

"I've lost count." 

"I've looked at you that way a lot of times." 

"Have you?" She nodded. 

"God, Scully, you're so beautiful you don't seem real sometimes." 

He made her feel beautiful. His words gave her a warm fuzzy. She put her hands and his chest and slid them down to his abdomen and then around to rest just above his hips. A low hum sounded from the back of his throat. 

"Does that seem real." 

"It feels very real." 

"Let's go have that wine." He followed her back into the living room and poured the wine while she cleaned up the spill from the table. He handed her a glass and sat back on the couch, one arm across the back. 

"Sit down, Scully." She sat gingerly on the couch next to him. His hand cups her far shoulder. "Closer." 

She looked at him and slid over until their hips were touching and reclined into his side, her head tucked onto his chest. He squeezed gently and took a sip of his wine. "That wasn't so hard, was it?" 

"No, it wasn't." The sat in companionable silence for a while, just sipping their wine and enjoying the feel of each other's bodies relaxing against one another. 

God, he did feel good. His body was lean but so solid. His heat diffused her body and she began to relax. His hands skimmed her shoulder, down her bar arm and back up again. The movement mesmerized her for a minute and she put her glass on the table. She turned and he held his glass out. She took it and placed it on the table and leaned back into him, turning sideways. She wanted to feel more. She leaned into him and placed her left hand on his chest, sitting up higher so she could lay her head on his shoulder. 

"I forget how short you are," he commented casually. 

"Hey, no short jokes, buddy or I'll toss you out on your can." 

He chuckled. "No jokes. I like it. You're so strong, but so feminine at the same time." She never thought she'd like hearing those words, but at the moment they filled her with happiness. She wanted to be feminine for him. After his confession at dinner, she knew that he did not equate her stature with weakness and was not offended in the slightest. 

"I always wondered if you noticed I was a girl." 

"No, I didn't." 

"You didn't?!" 

"No, but I noticed you were a woman." 

"Oh. How so?" 

"You really want to know?" 

"Yeah, I do." 

"What do want to know? How much detail?" 

Ooo, he was being so careful. She loved it. "Lots of detail. Tell me your fantasies." 

"That could be dangerous." 

"I'm feeling rather dangerous." 

"Are you now, Agent Scully." 

"Yes, Agent Mulder, I believe I'm in the mood for a lot of danger this evening." 

"O.K., but it could get ugly, don't say I didn't warn you." 

"I have been duly warned, sir, you may proceed." He chuckled. 

"Well, let's see. 'I am woman, hear me roar' comes to mind." She slapped him playfully on the chest. "Umph." 

"Come on. Entertain me with that wonderland of an imagination of yours." 

"Wonderland?" 

"You're evading." 

"Am I?" 

"Indeed. Spill it." 

"If I tell you mine, you have to tell me yours." 

"Deal." 

"O.K. then. I don't even know where to start." 

"What made you think of me as a woman?" 

"Besides the obvious, you mean?" 

"Quit evading." 

"O.K. Your perfect body." 

"Perfect? Hardly. I thought you liked tall, leggy brunettes." 

"No. Lost my taste for them." 

"When?" 

"About the day you walked into our office." She noticed that he said 'our' office without hesitation. "Your hair when it's floating free like this. It looks like soft copper and it feels like corn silk. I remember the first time I felt it." 

"When?" Silence. 

"When, Mulder." 

"After the Phaster case." She shuddered. "Sorry, Scully that's why I hesitated. I hate to think about that time. But it was the first time you let yourself be vulnerable to me. You let me see your fear and you let me comfort you. Do you remember?" 

"Yes. I was so scared that day. I remember asking the cops, 'How in hell could no one have noticed such a beautiful woman renting a car at that place.' When I figured out where you were, I was terrified I wouldn't be in time. I almost wasn't." 

"But you were. I felt like such a...girl...but I was so shaken, so scared. The sweetest sound in the world was you busting through that door. I instantly knew I was going to be O.K. But then the shock hit and I couldn't hide my fear from you anymore. I remember you folding me into your arms. It felt like you surrounded me and I felt safe." 

"Yeah. I remember it all. Every second. My heart broke to see you so scared, but I was filled with relief at the same time that I had found you in time. It was a perverse kind of pleasure I got from being able to hold you. Not sexual pleasure. I wanted to comfort you but at the same time, I couldn't help registering how good it felt to hold you. Cradling you against me, I remember how soft your hair was, like corn-silk." 

"Hmm. What else?" 

"Your tiny waist. My palm almost covers your lower back when I touch you there." 

"I love it when you do that." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

"Your breasts." 

"What about them?" 

"They're perfect. So full for your small frame." 

"Glad you like them." 

He couldn't believe she was sitting there calmly while he catalogued her womanly traits. Before tonight, he would have thought she would have screamed 'inappropriate behavior' and 'sexual harassment' had he ever mentioned it. His mind slipped into the myriad of fantasies he's had about her. Could he tell her? Well, he'd already heard one of hers, but she didn't know that yet. He was unsure if he'd ever be able to make that confession. His eyes closed and she watched him covertly. She wanted to kiss the pulse in his neck but she wanted to hear more. It was only 9:00 PM. They had all night. She didn't think he'd leave unless she told him to go and she wanted to hear more. 

"Keep going." 

"You know all those videos that aren't mine?" 

"Yeah, I know the ones." 

"Many of them feature petite red heads." 

"You're kidding!" 

"No, I'm not." He was chuckled at her shocked reaction. "God, Scully, even if they didn't, all I had to do was close my eyes and I could see you, imagine what it would feel like to have your hands on me. Those lips, I love your full lips. I could taste them, I could come just thinking about having those lips on me." 

Her lips suddenly pressed to the juncture where his neck met his shoulders and she sucked on his skin. He moaned and his eyes snapped open. "Scuuulllyyy." She didn't respond except to nip his skin sharply and the smooth the spot with her tongue. He turned to recline against the armrest and pulled her up to sprawl on top of him. He pulled her down into a kiss and began invading her mouth. 

Good Lord, he tasted so good, like wine and salt. He smelled so good, like fresh air and English Leather. The combination of his smell and his taste was intoxicating. And that tongue, that wicked, talented tongue. She wanted to feel it everywhere. She loved the way he responded to her. It made her feel empowered, feminine, beautiful, but strong. She pulled away and rained kisses on his high cheekbones, his beautiful jaw line and went back to do what she'd always wanted to do. She nipped and then sucked on his bottom lip, rolling around it with her tongue. His moans vibrated through her body and made her moist all over. When his hand brushed across her breast she lost in the sensation of her nipple becoming painfully erect. 

I want him, she thought. I've never wanted anyone this way. He was letting her have the control. She knew he was holding back, afraid to make a wrong move. She would have to give the green light. He wouldn't take charge without her permission. She broke the kiss and stared into his hazel eyes. He was breathing heavily and she could feel his hardness pressing into her belly. 

"Mulder." 

"What?" 

"I don't want to wait." 

"Wait?" 

"I know you said take it slow, but..." 

"But?" 

"I can't. I want you so badly. I don't want to wait. I've waited long enough." 

"You mean...?" 

"Yes. I want to make love to you." 

I want to make love to you. He'd never heard sweeter words. Not just I want you, but I want to make love to you. Big difference. "Not here on the couch," he whispered. He wanted the first time to be special and he didn't want to grope her on her couch like a couple of teenagers. Not that he had any complaints about the feel of her tiny body sprawled on top of his. 

"Bedroom." One word was all she could get out at a time. The stood up. She grabbed his hand and walked swiftly into the bedroom, dragging him behind her. The moon was bright through the window and cast just enough light to put them in shadow but be able to see each other clearly. 

She smiled at him a predatory gleam in her eye and he was sure he'd never seen anything so beautiful. "God, Scully, that look. It kills me." 

"What look?" 

"Like you want to devour me." 

"I do." 

"God help me." He reached for her and kissed her until she was whimpering again. 

"Clothes," she gasped. He understood and they separated briefly and began ripping their clothes off. Her dress was pulled over her head and sent flying across the room. He ripped his tie off and his pulled his shirt over his head. He paused to reach for her bra. "Just strip." 

He smiled and quickly undid his belt and dropped his pants, kicking his shoes and socks off until they both stood there in their underwear. Her eyes slid up and down his body once. "Naked, Mulder, I want you naked." He quickly drew his boxers down as he watched her slip out of her blue panties. They stopped them and just stared at each other in amazement, admiring their first unfettered view of each other. They'd both seen each other naked, but it was always under tense circumstances, one of them was either hurt or sick or injured. There'd been no time for an examination. Now they had time. They both decided time was up and moved into each other at the same time. She grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the bed, then turned and leaped onto it, scuttling up to the head board and turning to recline against the pillows. She looked like a painting. So beautiful he couldn't stop looking. 

"Mulder, I need to touch you." That spurred him into action and he crawled across the bed and wrapped his arms around her. They lay facing each other and he began to kiss her again. 

"Tell me what you want Scully." 

"I don't know, just touch me." So he did. He locked his lips onto hers and began running his hands over her sides, stomach, thighs, up to her chest, across her neck, never breaking contact of their mouths. He teased her peaks with his thumbs until she squirmed and pressed herself into his hands. He sat up and swung one leg over her thighs, straddling her. Her eyes were closed, her chin tipped up exposing her swan-like neck. 

He whispered, "Open your eyes, Scully." She did and he caught his breath at what he saw there. Love, desire, trust, and need were all there in her smile and her eyes. He lowered his head and took one of her nipples into his mouth and sucked gently, swirling his tongue around the hardened nub. She gasped and arched her back off the bed, pressing herself into his face. He groaned and sucked harder. Her moans increased with the level of suction so kept escalating it, pulling more and more of her breast into his mouth until he had her moaning continuously and her head was thrashing on the pillow. He finally pulled back and looked at her. 

"Mulder, god, you're driving me crazy." He smiled and licked his way down to her navel, swirling in the indentation there. He ran a hand through her curls and then stretched out on his stomach between her legs and pushed his arms under her thighs, gripping her at the top of her legs. He pulled her legs apart firmly but gently and she gasped. He looked up at her, asking permission. 

"Please," she hissed. He didn't have to be told twice and dove into her, his tongue lapping at her wetness and his nose buried in her curls. He sucked, he nipped. He laved across her lips and lapped out her wetness. And finally, finally, he swirled his tongue over her bulging nub of nerves at the top of her wetness. She let out a strangled groan. He smiled, pushed two finger inside her until he saw her body flush and buck when he found her G-spot on the front wall of her vagina. He concentrated on the spot, feeling her wetness increase and then gently fizzle as it leaked out around his fingers. He continued until she was thrashing again and bucking her hips. Then he lowered his mouth again and sucked on her hardened nub, HARD. 

She screamed his name as her orgasm ripped through her body, causing her hips to buck, her back to arch and her head to thrash. He sucked and rubbed his fingers quickly, prolonging her orgasm. 

My god, she's screaming my name! I can't believe it. His mind just couldn't wrap around the fact that he was in Dana Scully's bed with his face between her legs. She tasted like tangy honey and he delighted in her loss of control. She was trusting him to be completely vulnerable in her passion. This was a very intimate act and his heart soared that she had given permission, the first time, no hesitation. He could hardly contain his joy. He felt like laughing but knew it would come out sounding hysterical and he didn't want to freak her out. What he could do though was ignore, his painful erection and see how many times he could make her come. He would never get enough of watching this happen and tasting her. He left his fingers inside until she came back to him, damp with sweat, her thighs trembling slightly and her blue orbs smoky with spend passion. 

"Jesus, Mulder, I've never come that way." Mulder beamed at her. Does it get any better than this, he thought. 

"Your turn," she announced. 

"Not yet." His voice was husky and gravel. 

"God your voice is so sexy," she murmured. 

He couldn't believe the things he was hearing. "Hey, Agent Scully, you never told me one of your fantasies." 

"This." That was all she said, as she rolled him onto his back, knelt between his legs and took him into her mouth so fast, he barely had time to register it. She grabbed the base with one tiny hand and pumped firmly as her mouth slid over him, hot and wet. His hips arched up at the sudden sensation of her hands and lips on him. 

"Ahh, Christ, Scully," he choked out. Her mouth was so hot and so wet. Her tongue was swirling around his soft tip each time she pulled back. Then she would descend again. He knew he was probably babbling nonsense but he didn't care. His voice was choked with tears as the situation overwhelmed him. He was really in bed witht hewoman he had loved for so long and she had her mouth on him. 

"Dana, can't believe...so good...the way you...make me...feel...heaven...dreamed this...no comparison...yeess, ahh, yeah,...just like that...oh Dana...so hot...so sexy." The nhe couldn't talk anymore as he cupped his sacs with her free hand, caressing them. She began to suck on him hard, her cheeks hollowing with the effor,t her full lips pouting around his aching shaft. The sight was incredible. He struggled to keep his eyes open and watch. He stared, but then let his head fall back as he released a continuous groan, interrupted only by her name. He'd never felt anything like this before. 

She knew he was close and increased her suction and her pace. His words and groans spurring her on. His hips thrust up into her mouth. She knew he was holding back, not wanting to gag her. He was pretty big. Quite impressive actually. But she was relaxed. She'd only done opened her throat once before and it had been a long time ago, but she was sure she could do it again, for him. She lifted off him quickly and muttered, "Let go, Mulder, you won't hurt me." Then she descended again. 

Those words made what little control he had snap. He cried out and began thrusting up into her beautiful face. So close so close. Then he growled amazement on his upward thrust as he felt the back of her throat open and he slid into her to the hilt. 

"JESUS, DANA, OHGODOHGOD, OH GOOODDD!" He was shouting as she retreated and took him down her throat again. Once, twice, threetimes. On his next thrust, her hand slid between his legs and rubbed his sensitive skin behind his balls. 

He screamed her name and exploded into her mouth. 

* * *

Holy shit. He'd never had an orgasm this intense. His balls were clenching hard up against shaft with each surge of cum he jettisoned down her throat. His cock was burning fromtheforce of his ejaculations. It felt like he was going to turn inside out. The pleasure was so exquisite it made him dizzy and was close to pain. He squirted his essence into her over and over again, wondering when it would stop and if youcould die from this kind of ecstacy. Finally, he collapsed into a boneless heap, exhausted and twitching from the aftershocks that still rocked his body. She was still attached to him, gentlylapping him to clean up the residue. 

He pulled her up to lay on his chest and kissed her tenderly. "Have mercy, Scully." 

"Good?" 

"No." Her face fell. "Exquisite, mind-melting, ecstasy maybe, but way, way past good." She beamed him a smile but then her eyelids drooped. 

"Tired?" 

"Yeah." 

"Mmm. Me too." 

"Let's rest." 

"I might fall asleep if I rest. And I wanted to do this right." 

"You did do it right." 

"But I wanted to..." 

"I know, we have time." 

"You're not kicking me out tonight?" 

"Not a chance pal, you're stuck here now." He smiled a smile of pure joy and she felt her heart turn over in her chest. 

"Let's sleep Mulder. Long day. W're both done in." 

"O.K." he mumbled, already drifting off. They curled up, he on his back, her on her side wrapped around him and they slept. 

* * *

* * *

PART 5: THE LEAP <PRIORITIES>

I awake feeling slightly disoriented. Something wasn't right. I ventured to open an eye and nearly panicked when I saw the broad expanse of tanned skin beneath my cheek. Then it all came flooding back. Mulder! 

Sweet Jesus, I had Mulder in my bed! Mulder; my colleague, my partner, my best friend and now my lover. Whoa. What had I done? How had it happened so fast? Fast? My other voice questioned. Nearly seven years of developing a relationship was hardly fast. But brining that relationship to this level had all happened in one day. One day! 

One day and I'd gone from total denial, to trusting a friend with my fantasies, to sexually wanton, to acceptance and then to aggressive lover. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, she saw that it was 4:30 AM. The moon was still bright, pouring in the windows, a soft glow slanting across the bed. 

I lifted my head to look at this face. It was soft and unlined in sleep, peaceful. His lips were slightly parted, the edges turned up in the faintest suggestion of a smile. His face was boyish ad vulnerable. Several errant locks of his lush dark hair fell across his forehead. I reached up to brush them back, causing him to stir. He swallowed slowly and whispered, "Dana..." my name almost a sigh. My heart swelled in my chest. His smile deepened a bit. It'd watched him sleep before but he'd never had a smile on his face. He'd usually been sick or injured at the time. I didn't want to wake him. I wanted to watch him for a while. 

I carefully pushed the sheet covering us down below our knees. I was tucked lightly into his side, one of my legs wedged between his thighs, almost touching his genitals. My Irish skin was stark white against his tanned legs. The skin of dark legs faded into a soft olive at the top of his thighs where his tan line crossed his thigh. Even the skin of his hips and waistline was not white though, but a soft, ruddy, off-white. 

I inhaled deeply taking in his smell; musky, warm with just a wisp of his cologne lingering. Soft hair dusted his thighs. His chest hair was sparse with a soft clump above his breastbone. A line descended to his abdomen and thickened into the dark thatch between his legs. I could see the well-toned definition of his stomach muscles, his lean hip bones jutting out slightly around his narrow waist. His thighs were muscular but his legs were long and lanky. God, he was beautiful, just beautiful. 

I looked at his face gain and stared at his lips. That bottom lip, full, wide and slightly pouty had held my eyes so many times, jutting out beneath his slightly too large nose. 

I suppressed a chuckle with a slight shake of my head as I realized that we had made love. Well, he had made love to me and I to him, but we hadn't joined together. We'd both been too needful of expressing our love and ultimate trust to the other. Leave it to Mulder to make even sex an our of the ordinary experience. Most men wouldn't have bothered to pleasure me that way the first time they were together. They would have just jumped on her. And oh, such pleasure, first from his mouth and then by his fingers. 

I knew sex with Mulder would be intense and extremely passionate. Everything he did was intense and extremely passionate. But I'd never suspected what having all that intensity and passion directed at me would do to me. I'd completely lost control. That had never happened to me. Even during sex, I had always maintained some modicum of control, some awareness of my surroundings and what I was doing. Not this time. I had totally and utterly surrendered to his passion. Odd, I thought it would make me feel vulnerable, weak and exposed to let go like that. That's why I never had done it. 

Instead, it left me feeling sated, complete and empowered, and sexy. No man had ever made me feel so beautiful, so sexy, so much - a woman. God help, I loved this man. And somehow he'd managed to do this without taking anything away from me. He took away no dignity, took away no strength. He added to it. I hadn't felt glad to be woman in every long time. Just add it to the list of growing miracles this man had brought into my life. 

And let's not forge the biggest miracle of all. LOVE! He loved me, totally, completely, unconditionally, warts and all. And let's fact it, old girl, for all you're academic assets, in the personal life department, I'm no bargain. I'm quirky, a creature of habit and science, well-ordered to the point of being rigid at times and distinctly bitchy and argumentative at times. I knew these things about myself even if I never admitted them to anyone else. But Mulder knew all those things and he loved me anyway. 

I couldn't see his eyes right now but I remembered those sparkling hazel orbs gazing at me heavy with desire, awe, and love. I shivered a the thought of his need for me. Just that one thought and I felt a gush of warm stickiness between my thighs. My apex was pressed to his thigh and my wetness coated him where my juncture met his thigh. Even in sleep, Mulder responded to my arousal. He moaned softly, tightening the arm around my back, pulling me closer. I glanced down to see his penis lift from his thigh and swing gently upwards and to the side, lying half-erect below hi hip. My hand brushed his chest hair and I bent down to lave his nipple with the flat of my tongue. He tasted salty and so masculine. His groan brought my eyes up. Hazel eyes locked with mine and he smiled. 

"Don't stop touching me." 

I went back to work, dragging my tongue across his chest, his collarbone, and up to the cords in his neck. Then I sucked his earlobe into my mouth. 

"Scully." 

"Call me Dana." 

"Dana? Am I dreaming?" 

"No." He took my hand and brought it down between his legs. I grasped him firmly and began stroking. I felt his breathing quicken as he become fully erect in my hand. 

"Oh, Dana, you make me feel so good." His voice was sleepy and so sexy. I loved to hear it. He pulled me onto his chest, spreading my thighs so I was straddling his abdomen. I could feel his hardness pressing against my butt cheeks. Christ, the tip was brushing my lower back. He was so big. 

His movements were slow and sleepy, but so erotic. His hand slid down to brush my clitoris. I gasped. Then he cupped both m y breasts in his large, hands, kneading gently and flicking the tips with his thumbs. 

"Mulder." 

"I want to taste," he said drowsily. I leaned down and he latched onto my right breast with his lips, suckling hard but slow. His tongue made lazy circles around my areola with each suck, and then he would release the pressure only to pull me in again, slow and hard. 

"Ooohhh, Mulder, so good, so good." I murmured in his ears. He increased his suction almost to the point of pain but never went any faster. "Yesss." It was a hiss between my teeth. He left that breast and moved o the other one, giving it equal treatment. Everything was in slow motion. His hands moved rhythmically, squeezing my hips in time to his sucking. 

"Mulder, I need you inside me, please." 

"Hhhmmmmmm." His low hum sent jolts of tingling and warmth down my torso. Without breaking his hold, effortlessly lifted my hips and perched me at the top of his penis, my knees barely touching the mattress. I took a split second to admire his building biceps in this position, elbows braced on the mattress, arms supporting the bulk of my weight. I didn't have long to admire. He wiggled his hips, brushing at my entrance with the head of his shaft. Feeling my wetness coating him, he groaned. 

Then he surprised me with the first quick move he'd made since this started. He gripped my hips tightly, and slammed my body down on top of him, bucking his hips up off the bed at the same time. He raised his knees slightly at the same time, one seamless motion that impaled his engorged sex inside me to the hilt and ground his pubic bone against mine. 

I screamed his name as the totally unexpected orgasm ripped through me, starting at my apex and continuing up through my torso. My head fell backwards and I dug my nails into his shoulders, raking the bunching muscles there. I was stretched so wide. I could feel every contraction grip his cock and skitter away loose only to grip again as my walls tried to pull him deeper inside. 

Only then did he release my breast and gather me in his arms, holding me as the aftershocks subsided. 

"Jesus Christ, Mulder, what is it with you?" 

He shook his head and it was then I realized he was gritting his teeth. 

"Mulder, did I hurt you?" 

"Don't... move!" he ground out. I nodded. About 15 seconds passed, his jaw grinding his teeth, his throat swallowing hard. I had a frown on my face, unsure of what had happened. I knew he hadn't come. My long unused tunnel was tight around him, despite my orgasm and I could feel every tensing throb of his huge shaft as it was stuffed in so tight. No, he hadn't come. OH1 HE HADN'T COME! The proverbial light bulb went on over my head and I realized what was happening. He was trying not to! Duhh, Dana. You really are out of practice! I smiled at my own stupidity. 

Finally, he relaxed, the air rushing out of his lungs, his hips retreating into the mattress. His eyes opened and he flashed me a grin. "Thank God." 

"I didn't think you believed in God." 

"I may start, there's no other explanation as to why I didn't lose it just now." 

"I wouldn't have minded, after all, my body just betrayed me big time>" I waggled my eyebrows at him. He laughed. 

"I would've minded. I want to go slow, make this last." We still hadn't moved, both adjusting to the feel of each other. 

I sat up and lifted slightly, settling back down. I hissed at the sensation. 

"Oh, god, Dana, you feel so incredible. I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked concern flooding his face. 

"No, hardly, or we're you sleeping through that orgasm I just had?" He laughed again. 

"Hell no, it almost killed me. I didn't expect it." 

"Me neither. It's been a while though, I'll probably be sore." I was raising and lowering myself very slowly. He frowned at my words and began to lit me off of him like he was going to stop. I grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back into the mattress. 

"Dana, I don't want to hurt..." I cut him off. 

"Don't you dare leave me now. Stay right where you are." He looked startled at my command. 

"I won't leave you, I just..." 

"Shut up, Mulder." He clamped his mouth shut and reclined on the mattress, watching me as I rose up again and languidly slid back down, moaning slightly at the sensation. 

"It's O.K., Mulder, it's normal to be sore when you haven't done it in a while. I have done this in nearly five years." He was still frowning. I had to break him out of this concerned for me bullshit attitude. I moved up as high as my legs would left me and slid back down again roughly. He bit his bottom lip against a grunt. 

"And Mulder." 

"Yeah?" 

"Stop worrying. I have a job for you." 

"A job?" 

"Yeah, I want you to fuck me until I can hardly walk." His eyes widened in shock and then his frown broke and he hooted with laughter, a deep belly laugh that had me bouncing against the rise and fall of his stomach. I smiled at his reaction, loving the sound of his deep laughter filling up the room." 

"Yes, Mam!" He grabbed my waist and flipped me onto my back, pulling my legs up to his hips, never breaking our joining. His laughter was still just below the surface. "Are you certain that's what you want, Agent Scully. I warned you to be careful what you ask for." 

"I know exactly what I'm asking for." 

"Do you?" I hesitated at the slightly predatory gleam in his eyes. 

"Even if I don't, I want to find out." 

"O.K., you asked for it, but you have to do exactly as I say?" 

"Huh?" 

"If I say stop, you have to stop." 

"O.K." 

"If I say change position, you have to do it." 

"O.K." 

"You want to test my endurance do you? This will be tough, I could come just looking at you right now." 

"You're serious. Completely serious, aren't you?" 

"Were you?" His voice held a challenge. 

"Are you up for a lengthy session of wild sex, Agent Mulder?" 

"I'd like to try." 

"Go for it." 

"Oh, one more thing." I noticed he was still just as hard, not moving still. All this talking hadn't distracted him from his arousal a bit. 

"What's that?" 

"I want you to call me, Fox." 

Now it was my turn to be wide-eyed. I knew I looked shocked. He smiled. "But..." 

He leaned down into my ear, brushing the shell of my ear with his lips. "No buts, I want you to call me Fox when I'm touching you. Only you, Dana. And I want to hear you say it when I make you come." I shivered. "And," he pulled out of me, leaving just his tip inside and then slid back in sharply and fully between each word. "I...will...make...you...come. Hard. I didn't do it ... earlier...but you...will...beg...me...to...come...this...time." 

Now, on anyone else, a statement like that be purely aggravating arrogance. But I knew Mulder and he was just stating a fact. He would do what he said because he was tenacious and single-minded and he was determined. I could see the determination on his face. 

"Make love to me, Fox." His thrusting began slow and sure, long, slow, deep strokes that built my arousal to a sharp edge and then he would pull back. He sped up, he slowed down, he my legs up on his shoulders and then around his hips. He was relentless. He only asked me to stop for a breather twice. I obediently held as still as I could. Then he would begin again. Hip lips and hands were everywhere; my face, neck, ears, lips, breasts, arms. He took me from behind, from beneath, sitting upright. He would bring me right to the edge, pull out, change positions and start building me up again. 

I lost count of the number of times he pulled me right to the edge and pulled back. By then I was whimpering and crying in frustration. I couldn't take it anymore. I had heard that more times you were brought to the edge, the more intense the orgasm. If that was true, this just might kill me. I was coiled so tight I thought my body was going to crack. So I caved. And true to his words, I begged, sobbing with need. 

"Fox, Oh god, Please make me come. Oh god, I need to come. Please. No more. I can't take it, I'm dying. Foooxxx, pleeeaaasssee," I wailed. "I'm begging you, Ah, ha, ha, Fox, please." 

He reared back, dragging me up with him and nearly slammed my hands up over my head, curling my fingers around the vertical posts of my headboard and pushing my hips back, moving under me and wrapping my legs around his waist. Hi face was a mask of wild passion, almost pain. I was upright, my arms out stretched to my sides, and my legs spread around his torso. I had a flash vision of Christ pinned to the Cross. 

He grabbed my hips tightly, holding them in place and began bucking his hips up, hard and fast, impaling me on his enormous shaft. I couldn't move from the waist down. He held me so firmly. My eyes were glued to the sight of his huge shaft, glistening with my juices disappearing inside me, pulling out and disappearing again. He began sucking on my breast hard as he continued to slam into me, filling me to the brim. He reached down suddenly and pressed my clitoris with his thumb against his shaft, rubbing hard. That did it. And good lord, I've never screamed like this in my life. 

"Foooxxx! Oh Christ, oh God, Ahhhhhh, Ahhhhhh. I LOVE YOU, FOX, GOD, I love you." Then I just degenerated into continuous groaning and wailing. Sounds I didn't recognize as ever having come from inside me poured out of the back of my throat as the most keening, intense orgasm ripped through my body, over and over again. My whole body convulsed as the contractions gripped and released me. I thought briefly that I must look like I'm having a grand mal seizure. As my spasms began to die down, I felt him explode inside me, crying out my name in a hoarse primal wail and contractions started up again at the feel of the first hot wash of his semen inside me. The tremors were less intense this time but still rocking my body. My arms fell to this shoulders and we sat panting, sweat streaming off both our bodies in rivulets. His chest gleamed in the moonlight. I could smell the sweat of us both and the distinct smell of combined juices. We stared at each other in awe and wonderment, emotions showing plainly on both our faces. It was long minutes before I could speak. Then at the same time, we both said, "WOW!" We smiled, no energy left for laughing. 

"Fox." 

"Umm?" 

"I need to move." 

"Oh, sorry." He gently slid out of me and I moaned and he smiled. He scooted down the bed, laying side by side, holding hands. We were both to hot right now to cuddle. 

"Dana, I could die a happy man right now." His voice held disbelief and awe. "Holy shit, that was ..." 

"Incredible? Fucking unbelievable? No pun intended." He did laugh now. 

Softly, "There are no words. That was ... no words." He smiled at his inability to express himself. 

"A religious experience." I stated. 

"yeah, it was. Dana, I love you so much. So much I can't even tell you, can't express it. God, you'll never know ..." 

"Yes I will because I feel the same way about you." I felt him squeeze my hand and saw a tear escape the corner of his eye. 

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Dana. I don't know if I could do anything without you. Do you understand that? You make me whole. You are a part of me. I didn't know it was possible to feel this much joy and at the same, I'm scared shitless." 

"I know. Me too. But fox, you don't have to do without me. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. And if you ever ditch me again, I will rip your heart out." 

"Promise?" 

"Promise." 

"But the Bureau..." 

"Kendra convinced me that it can work." 

"What?" 

"She said lots of agents are involved. No one else could put up with us and our lifestyle." 

"that's certainly true in my case." 

"I know lots of women who would put up with you." 

"I doubt it." 

"Weird or not, Fox, you ware a very sexy man, trust me when I tell you." 

"Well, I'm glad you think so. That's all that matters to me." 

"Kendra said as long as people are discreet, it works. The powers that be look the other way. In so many words she said they almost expect it. As long as no one embarrasses the bureau, they don't look to take people down, policy or no policy. They have to have one for cases of sexual harassment." 

"Bless Kendra McKenna." I chuckled. 

"yeah, she made me want to take a chance. Coaxed me out of my denial over my feelings for you." 

"So you talked about me?" He smiled to himself. Wonder how much she'll tell me? 

"We certainly did. She thought you were hot!" He laughed. 

"I only have eyes for you, Dana." 

"That's what she said." 

"Perceptive woman." 

"Indeed." 

"So what did you talk about?" 

"Well, it started with a joke." 

"The private joke you were laughing about and wouldn't share with me?" 

"Yes." 

"What was that all about?" 

"After you came in and startled me, she whispered to me." 

"I saw that. Couldn't hear." 

"She said, 'that's your partner, what a fox!'" 

He groaned. "Oh God!" 

"I said, funny you should mention it..." I giggled, remembering. "Then, you were watching us so intently, I broke off and started to scolding you for startling me. When you, when you, introduced yourself, and said Foox... Oh God." A fit of giggles overtook me as I remembered the stunned look on Kendra's face and her choked bark of laughter that she covered with a cough. It was as funny now, as it was then. 

"Dana! It's not that funny." 

"Yes it is, her, her expression...oh god, she wanted to kill me. It was hysterical." He smiled indulgently at me as I broke into another fit of laughter. 

"I love to hear you laugh," he said quietly. He rolled onto his side and kissed me gently. 

"I need a shower Mulder." 

"Fox." 

"Oh yeah, fox. That's going to take some getting used to. Are you sure?" 

"Only you, Dana, I want only you to call me by my first name. I love it when you say it." 

"I love you." 

"Ditto!" 

"What about work?" 

"If others are around, Mulder, but if we are alone, Fox." 

"Delicate balancing act you're asking for there. Lots of room for me to make a mistake, juggling the two." 

"Umm, like me juggling Scully and Dana?" 

"Yeah, huh?" 

"If you slip, you slip. No big deal." 

"Who are you anyway? Are you sure you're My Mulder?" He stared at my intently. 

"Am I? Your Mulder? 

"Yes, I hope so." 

"God, that sounds so good to hear you say that." 

"Am I Your Scully?" 

"I want you to be." 

"Wish granted." He beamed at me. 

"So, as long as we're figuring all this stuff out. What do I call you when someone asks what you are to me?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Do I say, she's my significant other, my girlfriend, my lover, my partner, my life, my love?" 

"Am I all those things?" 

"Yes." 

"What do you want to call me?" 

"MINE! Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine," he declared in a sing song voice. I laughed again. I loved the playful Mulder. He didn't come out and play very often. 

"Call me whatever you want." 

So quietly, I almost didn't hear him, he whispered, "How about my fiance?" 

I gasped. "What did you say?" 

"You heard me," he said softly. 

"Fox..." 

"Too soon. Sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I just...sorry. One night with you and I'm turning into Don Quixoite. Just, forget I said it." 

"No." he looked up at me then. "You would really want to marry me?" 

"Yes. If I thought you would say yes, I'd give you a ring tomorrow." My eyes were stinging with tears. 

"Too much information, huh?" His chuckle was self-deprecating and he leaned over and licked my tear as it fell down my cheek. "Look, Dana. I'm rushing. No pressure here. Just think about it, for the future, if you think that's possible for us, somewhere down the road. I know I love you with everything I am. I know there will never be anyone else for me. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. I want to grow old with you and seven years of foreplay are plenty for me. But I'd have to know you were sure. That it was what you wanted too. I've just wanted you for so long, loved you for so long...my mouth got ahead of my brain. I forget that this is all new to you. Cause it's not new to me. In the meantime, I'll take whatever you'll give me. You set the pace." 

"No, it's not. New to me, I mean. I've loved you for along time too. I admitted that a long time ago. But I just accepted it yesterday." 

"I understand." 

"I don't think you do." 

"Explain to me then." 

"I'm tired of being so cautious. I'm tired of denying my feelings and running scared from them. I'm tired of worrying about what everybody thinks. I don't care anymore." 

"What are you saying, Dana?" 

"I'm saying that I feel the same way about you and I don't' want you to ever walk on eggshells around me ever again. Say what you think. I don't want to do a tip toe with other people, either, because I'm afraid for my fucking reputation. It's not important anymore. God, I've wasted so much time on this bullshit. You are important to me. You're happiness and mine are all that matters to me now." 

"The real world will invade, Dana, and you might change your mind once you're in a buttoned down suit and in front of Skinner, instead of laying naked in a bed with me." 

"No, I won't. This isn't post-coital meltdown. I refuse to have an 'uptight asshole relapse!'" He laughed. He shook his head, thumping it with the heel of his hand. 

"Is this Scully I'm talking to?" 

"No, this is Your Dana. The person I want to be. The Dana I'm committed now to being. The last 24 hours have been no less than a life-altering experience. Suddenly, it's all so clear to me. What's important in life." 

"What important? Let me rephrase that. What's important to you?" 

"Being with you, having someone to share my life with, loving and being loved in return. No job, no one's opinion, no career reputation is worth denying myself this kind of joy. I won't have it." I turned on my side to face him, cupping his face in my hands, his stubble scraping my palms. 

"WE, US, that's going to be my priority from now on. I think God put Kendra McKenna in my path for a reason and I'm not going to ignore the message." 

"And Kendra's purpose?" 

"To pull my head out of my ass and make me accept my love for you, to make me see my destiny, god's plan for me." 

"What's your destiny, Dana?" 

"YOU. To be with you, to live my life loving you the best I can." He sobbed and grabbed me into a crushing embrace. And the kissed me. I could never get enough of kissing him. He was so good at it. I'd been a fool to think I could ever put his man in just one compartment of my life. He was too large a force to contain. 

We broke for air and grinned at each other. 

"Wow." He was staring at me with that wonder struck look gain. 

"Yeah, Wow." 

"Shower?" 

"Yeah, shower." I rolled and went to leap off the bed. My feet hit the floor and I immediately realized my mistake. My knees were liquid, my thighs rubber and insides ached. 

"Oh," was all I got out before I crumpled to the carpet, catching myself on my forearms and grunting as I collapsed to the floor. 

"DANA, GOD!" he shouted and scrambled toward me, lunging off the edge of the bed. And immediately crumpling beside me as he knees buckled. "SHIT!" 

I snorted and we both broke out into peals of laughter as we rolled around on the rug, making clumsy attempts to stand. He blurted out, "Mission accomplished!" He was referring to fucking me until I couldn't walk. Another round of laughter took us over. At long last, recovered, helping each other up, still chuckling as we made our way gingerly to the bathroom. We showered, washing each other and enjoying just touching each other. We would catch other's eye and suppress giggles as we caught each other's overly careful movements. He shouted suddenly, "WOOO HOOO!" I smiled up at him, puzzled. 

"Fox?" 

"I don't remember ever being this happy, or ever laughing this much." 

"Me neither." 

We dried off and went back to the bed. He spooned me, wrapping his heat around my damp body, one arm under my head, the other around my waist, his large palm cupping my breast. I heard his even steady breaths and knew he had drifted off. 

Mulder was drowning in her warmth and the giddy feeling of being wrapped protectively around the love of his life. He was in the trance like state between waking and sleeping when he heard her begin whispering. 

"I love this, God, Mulder, how could I have been so stupid, not to reach out for this long ago. You'll never know how much I love you. My heart is in the palm of your hand and it always has been. And you don't even know it." She lightly kissed the inside of his wrist. 

He felt like his heart was going to bust out of his chest. This was better than any fantasy, it was a waking dream. Hearing Scully profess her love, thinking he was sleep. He'd never heard her this unguarded, all her barriers down. Her voice was sleepy and sated. "I never answered you, Fox, did I?" What was she talking about? 

"I'm not going to risk someone else taking you away from me." Not a chance, he thought. "Yes, I think I would like to be Mrs. Mulder." 

He swallowed his gasp, biting the inside of his mouth to be quiet. If she'd had eyes in the back of her head, she would have seen two hazel eyes snap open and stare incredulously at the back of her head. And she would have seen tears of joy streaming down her lover's face, his jaw hanging open in disbelief. But she didn't. She was already drifting off and beginning to dream of life with him. So she didn't hear his last words before he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. 

"Then you will be." 

**THE END**   
  


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